My hero. My angel. My grammy.

Tonight I'm thankful for a lot of things. Thankful for salvation. grace. a home that's always welcoming. a cozy bed. food anytime i want. clean water. clothes and more clothes. shoes so my feet don't hurt. a church family that's so special to me. a big brother that never fails to make me laugh. parents that so often teach me what love really is. And literally I could go on for hours and still not have said it all...

But tonight this is what I'm most thankful for: My best friend, Madison, who always knows the right things to say when I'm trying so hard to stay strong. My precious boyfriend who lets me cry and cry and cry and keep crying on the phone. The moments I can be alone to gather myself. But mostly for the memories. The sweet, sweet memories that I have of my Grammy being healthy. That's what I try so hard to cling to lately, the good times. Like the times when she'd walk over to our house and take us on in a game of basketball and kick our tails (she was a baller in her day.) Or when she'd make us fetch a switch to get spanked with from the back yard...okay those weren't such good ones! ha! Or when she'd bring us out some cokes when we were playing wiffle ball in her back yard. And can't forget all the summer nights with homemade icecream. Or the times when she would sit and tell us about our Gramps who we have too little memories of. Or the times she'd be out on the back porch and say hello across the yard. Or the mornings I'd be leaving and she'd raise her window to greet me. And there was this one time a snake was her house, brother and I climbed the sink and she was so angry at us....until she saw the snake too! haha and The time her and gramps bought us a puppy and we were absolutely terrified. Then there's the time my dog died, and she cradled little heart broken me cause mom and dad were gone. Oh but the best memories are all the Sunday lunches, yummy! how I'm gonna miss her fried chicken and mashed potatoes. And never can we forget the holidays, sitting around for hours upon hours together as a family reminiscing. Birthdays ahh,  she never failed to cook each of us our very favorite dishes and desserts. She is such a giver. Always, serving. She is always the last one to sit down to eat, and the first up to clean up our messes. Even after we found out she was sick she still worries about us, and everyone else for that matter. "Are you all to hot in here?, Would you like something to drink?, Are you Hungry?" and so on.

Grammy is my hero. This week especially I've began recognizing the impact she has made on not just my life, but lots of peoples lives. Some that I know, some that are strangers. Yet this week God has given me such a special gift of running into people who ask about her, and never fail to tell me what a special place she has in their hearts because of who she is as a person, as a servant of Jesus, and as a fighter. Even in these last few days that she has here she is still teaching me more and more of who Jesus is. I try to remember her for who she has always been, and still is- even behind that sick body- She is a lover of the Most High. She is a fighter. She is faithful to Him even amongst the most difficult trials she has been given. She takes each with such dignity, never complaining- always praising. She is my hero. I hope I grow into half of the woman she has been and continues to be. She is my angel, and tonight I am so thankful for the (almost) 21 years God allowed me to have her. I don't want to remember the sick Grammy, or the weak Gram, or the tired Gram. I choose to remember the Gram she's been up until the past month, but I look so forward to the Grammy I will see again in heaven. My Gram with a perfect, healthy, cancer-free body, that's been face to face with Jesus and radiates His presence.

My heart is so sad tonight, but when I think of her FINALLY standing before Jesus...which she has been waiting so patiently for, I get chills. That's all she wants now is to see her sweet Savior, and I'd be so selfish to try to hold her here any longer. So tonight, I'll kiss her sweet face, hope for a few more kisses to come. I'll cling to the precious memories she has given me and smile knowing soon she will finally be HOME.